Wednesday, February 29, 2012

let everything die.

Well, I wrote a poem today which is good. I mean, its good I wrote but I don't know how I feel about the poem. Its nice to feel like writing again though. I've been writing up a storm for a few days. Creation is destruction, so it seems.


I guess what is strange is that my affections haven’t changed
You said I rejected you
But the trick is a two-way street
What I can’t give, that big thing, you want from me
What I want from you is too small, so small you’d rather have nothing.
So I’m not washing my dishes, no really… more than usual.
There’s a bad smell in my house -
old pizza, litterbox, dirty laundry, stale air.
I’m not watering the plants because they’re angry,
reminding me how they prefer to talk to you. I might
Let everything die.
Let everything die.

I miss you, that hasn’t changed.
But the God-part of me knows I’m choosing new
My feelings got turned off like underwater at night, nothing
And I have to swim upward but not toward
Just swim for my life
Drowning in despair, hopelessness, misdirection
I’ve been swimming to save someone
Rescuing the nearest victim
Time to save myself before I
Let everything die.
Let everything die.

I would hold you while you cried
If you would let me be a comfort, the greatest gift
A driftwood soul, but I understand near is not near enough
When you want to swallow me whole.
We can’t lifeboat each other into forever,
Eventually I will turn the faucet on
Face the grit that clings to saucers and coffeemugs.
You will tire of ignoring me and send out a reluctant ‘hello’
Which I should not misread as a beginning
My heart choking on the knowledge that you would rather
Let everything die.
Let everything die.

No comments:

Post a Comment