For the first time in my life I feel hopeless, I do not believe in a better future. In fact, I think that things are just going to get worse before they get better and I doubt their ability to get better at all. I think of the oligarchy, the 1%, the wealthiest people who have stolen all the wealth from everyone else, who have taken the abundance of the earth, who have raped the mountainsides for their own lined pockets, they are winning. They have invented war after war and the least informed of us, the least educated of us, have bought into these wars hook, line and sinker. Will continue to buy into the wars and die for nothing, for profit, for an imaginary idea of geography boundaries.
This is a very strange feeling for me. I've never felt this despondent before, I've never felt that the future was bleak and hopeless and terrible and worse than today. Normally I can live in the Now. But the Now feels foolish, a wasted endeavor. Because there's nothing that I can do, I feel like there is nothing I can do. I see people that I respect and love taking action. I see them feeling just as hopeless and powerless as I feel, and taking actions which I know in my soul are futile and small. Actions that are truly a waste of energy. I feel the need to gather my energy in the battle that is to come. I don't know what form this battle will take, whether it's spiritual or physical but I know it's coming. My navelgazing and adoration of poetry will not stop it, will not calm it, will not even faze it. But alas I'm human and shall navelgaze on into my despondency.