Wednesday, July 28, 2010

dragonfly unsettled

Today I went up to the roof to talk on the phone. On the roof a dragonfly was flitting around a rooftop puddle. Winding from back to front, back and forth, never landing anywhere. I’ve been looking for the messages in life lately and I love to see them in animals as noted in my last post.

Dragonfly medicine beckons you to seek out the parts of your habits which need changing.

Dragonflies are a better metaphor for me than a monkey-mind. I think of monkeys as diligent, balanced and relaxed. So maybe its the words I've been telling myself. I've said don't have a monkey mind but I thought that wouldn't be a terrible thing. What I need to avoid is dragonfly habits.

I am like a dragonfly, flitting from one thing to the next, never landing for long on one thing and never resting. This is the habit I want to change.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Blue Jay fights a Bobcat


I’ve been riding a desk for 8 years. Maybe more, I’ve kind of blocked it out. There is now no denying that currently: This is My Career. Wow, what a scary thought. How does one shake oneself out of ruts like this?

Sometimes I’m not totally honest with myself and that contributes to these terrible ruts. Here is one example. I love the concept of totem animals. I believe the way you figure out your totem animal is to listen to yourself about which animals you are drawn to, which ones hold special meaning in your life and/or the ones that show up all the time either in life or dreams.

So for years I’ve thought my only totem is a bobcat/lynx.

Lynx people…have a tendency to be a know-it-all. It's important for all (including Lynx people) to realize that they do have the answers and the knowledge, it just might be hidden under the trappings of the ego or the desires of our emotional existence. Those with Lynx medicine are good at keeping secrets hidden, they are also excellent at giving advice to those who need to know when it is time for a secret to be revealed.

Bobcat people can see what is hidden -- and this ability
can make some people uncomfortable around a Bobcat person.

Bobcats…tend to feel resentful at having had to learn tough lessons on their own, and usually feel isolated. They are young with old souls.

But Snake and Blue Jay have been calling to me lately and when I looked up Blue Jay I recognized myself immediately. Bobcat may be my life totem and my guiding spirit but I have gotten sidetracked and I need this loud, obnoxious blue crow to pull me out of the muck.

If Blue Jay is your totem, you may have tremendous abilities and potential, but you must learn not to be scattered and neglect to develop your abilities to their fullest. Blue Jay people can become dabblers – a little bit of knowledge about many things but master of none. Develop your gifts and you will have unlimited potential.”

A boisterous and bold blue jay lives in my backyard. It struts on the carport and flies at the windows startling the cats. It leaves me gifts of amazing blue-striped feathers and Sunday, a special gift of a half-blue opalescent half-gray dull one that woke me up to my own blindness. Thank you, Blue Jay.